This Postcard was originally published for Valentines Day 2006
An
archeologist searching in
Most
remarkable was the revelation that the version of Romeo and Juliet that we have
come to know is the shortened “made for theatre” version. The genuine R&J Trilogy is somewhat different. In the original Book I, A Midsummer Night’s Family Feud, Romeo realizes that Juliet has
faked her death and they both flee to
Here
is an excerpt from Book II, entitled Looking
for Two Gentlemen - Try
Prologue and disclaimer (added by Don Staffin, A.D. 2006)
Three Muses appear on stage.
muses (in unison)
If
thy sensibilities be easily offended,
We
suggest the reading at this moment be ended.
But
if bawdry humor pleases without pretense,
Then
partake with us of mirth at poor Romeo’s expense.
Muses exit…
The scene:
Juliet
Romeo
O, Romeo,
A
soft bed awaits the warmth of our slumber.
The
fatigue of the day o’ertakes me,
And
sleep’s siren song bids us make haste
To
fair and blissful repose.
Romeo
Doth
not trifle with my affection
Juliet
my love.
‘Tis
is the Day of St. Valentine!
Flowers
hath I procured.
A
romantic feast hath we consumed,
A Netflix
painting hath we viewed.
Juliet
Romeo
my love,
May
I be stricken
‘Ere
I trifle with thy affection.
But
wouldst thou believe
I
am so easily lured into thine arms?
Romeo
When
seven children hath we produced,
I
wouldst think it true.
And
yet, I will woo thee as at first.
Come
hither, and hear in thine own ears
The
sweet caress of my loving whisper.
Juliet
My
ears hath been touched but not by thee.
‘tis
Daughter #5 who rends the stillness of the night
With
her fair cry,
And
I must sooth her countenance.
Romeo
There
is no need to leave
The
warmth of our lair.
D5
merely coos in her chamber,
Where
D4 and D6 offer sweet sibling solace.
Dost
not mine own countenance need soothing?
Doth
not other desires make their presence known?
Juliet
Quite
apparent is thy desire
And
thy presence.
‘Twould
be nearly impossible to miss.
Nonetheless,
thine own countenance must wait,
Unless
self-soothing is what thou wilt.
Romeo
If
thy words be true,
A
stake through my heart hast thou driven.
Wouldst
thou consign thy beloved to such a fate?
Wouldst
thou risk the loss of these eyes
That
behold a beauty such as thee?
O,
what an inglorious end to an evening
Begun
with roses, fair oysters, and truffles,
Upon
which a goodly portion of the Montague estate
Hath
been laid bare!
Juliet
O,
Romeo, your eyesight would not I risk,
But
thy patience do I request,
Lest
the sounds of the child
Strike
the mood from my soul
If she
should remain uncomforted.
Juliet exits left
Romeo
On
O,
that the privacy we shared
When
but two of us there were,
Nary
a care in the world
(save
our respective families who wanted to kill each other, but I digress…).
Now
steal our moments we must,
When
happily coincides
The
slumber of little ones.
‘Tis
a wonder the last were ever conceived!
Juliet returns wearing something very revealing
Romeo
O,
Juliet,
How
I have longed for thee
In
thy painful absence.
But
do my eyes deceiveth me?
Self
soothed have I not!
From
whence cometh thy garment,
Barely
visible in the moonlight?
Juliet
My
garb cometh
From
my dear friend, Victoria.
Come
to me now, my love,
And
knowest thou her secret!
Romeo
Ah,
epilogue
Three Muses re-appear on stage.
muses (in unison)
We
can see by thy faces
That
some of thee are shocked.
But
we warned thee,
And
did not simply go off half-cocked.
So
before telling Shakespeare
Who
might be tempted to sue,
You
should see our rendition
Of The Taming of the Shrew!
Muses Exit
