Dear Readers,
Most of my Postcards are related in some way to the 5 women
with whom I share my life. However, for
this special holiday Postcard, I would like to share a gift from a most unusual
woman - my grandmother, Claire Schneider, who passed away this fall at age 97 –
and to fulfill a promise I made to her.
* * *
Claire Schneider was born Lucia Chaya Manulkin on June 1,
1916. World War I was raging across Europe, and in a mere 16 months Russia
would depose the Czar and plunge into 70+ years of communist rule. This was a
very difficult time to be a Jewish family in Russia (or more specifically, Ukraine). Violent incursions into the Jewish community,
called pogroms, were a regular occurrence. When Claire was 3, the family
decided enough was enough. They began a
journey that took them through Poland, Belgium, and eventually culminated in
their arrival at Ellis Island in 1922. Many of the details of the journey have
been lost or forgotten, but two in particular underscore the difficulty and
danger faced by this young family.
On at least one occasion, they were transported across a
border in a hay wagon, with Claire hiding under the hay. It was apparently
common practice in this particular place that the border guards would
spot-check wagons by plunging their swords into the hay to see if they came out
bloodstained.
It was also years later that my grandmother learned that the
"candy" that her father (a dentist) kept her supplied with during
those times when they were in hiding was actually a sedative. It was designed to keep her asleep so as not
to betray their existence to authorities.
Upon arriving in New York, little Lucia, whose Hebrew name
Chaya had been used as her first name for immigration, became first Clara, and
finally Claire. With nothing but a few possessions and the help of a relative
who was already in Brooklyn, my grandmother and her parents received a fresh
start in life in the midst of the "Roaring 20's".
By any account, Claire led an incredibly full life: mother
of two, grandmother of five, married for over 30 years until becoming a widow
at age 53, substitute teacher in New York City for 50+ years, fluent in at
least five languages, acclaimed poet, jewelry designer, entrepreneur. She genuinely loved people, and they loved
her in return.
* * *
One day in 2012, I paid my grandmother a visit at the
assisted living center in New Jersey where she was residing. We spent a fair amount of time looking at
pictures of the girls, which she always enjoyed. When we were finished, she turned to me and got
very serious. "Donald," she said, "I am going to be 96 soon. I
do not know how much time I have left.
Please tell me, how can I make the world a better place?"
I was stumped. What more could she do at such an advanced age? Sure, she could still get around quite well with the aid of her wheeled walker, but she could no longer leave the facility without a great deal of difficulty. She had no Internet, no email. I thought for a minute.
Finally I had an idea. "Grandma," I said,
"how about you share with me some of the things you have learned from your
95+ years to date?"
She agreed to do this.
We spoke for about 40 minutes more, and when we were done, what I had
was a list of her guiding principles. She asked how what we had done could make
the world a better place. I said, "Grandma, I'll tell you what I can do.
Every month I write a newsletter which gets emailed to several hundred people
all over the world. When the time is right, I will share what you have told me,
and we’ll see where it goes from there."
She seemed satisfied with the arrangement.
And so, a parting gift from an amazing woman to all of us -
Claire Schneider's dozen recommendations for leading a happier, more fulfilling
life:
- Never be vindictive.
- Never take glory in your
opponent's misfortune, because it could happen to you next.
- Make a person unexpectedly
happy.
- Devote a certain period of
time at the end of each day to think of the happiest thing that happened
that day, and write it down in a notebook. At the end of the week, designate
the best item from that week. Then repeat the end of the month, and again
at the end of the year. In reviewing what made you happy, you will
discover things about yourself that you did not know.
- Never keep a bad mood more
than one hour, nor a grudge more than 24 hours.
- When you have achieved
something great, the first person to share it with is yourself.
- If you make someone happy,
give yourself a star. Too many people think they are too good to make
others happy.
- Thank God that you have
been blessed with the ability to be aware of positive things.
- If someone does not appear
to have any good qualities, if you can help them get even one, it can
change their life.
- If someone asks you for
help, take it as a great compliment that they chose you.
- There is nothing worse
than someone who does not care.
- My greatest
accomplishments have been helping others to think better of themselves.
The Gardener
