International Star Registry

Are you familiar with the International Star Registry? This company has been around for a while – I catch their advertisements on the radio now and again. For anywhere from $54 to $500 you can name a star. Basically what happens is they locate one of the billions of stars in the heavens, affix your name to it, and record the name and location in a copyrighted book. Then they send you some type of commemorative materials to celebrate the occasion (just how commemorative determines the price of the package).

I have no problem with this. If people are entertained by it and feel that they have received something of value for their money, who am I to judge? However, it does make one wonder if each of those other billions of stars out there have enterprising individuals on their respective planets who are busily selling $54 naming packages that include our own sun.

In fact, it seems to me that when the Galactic Council convenes in Stardate 9467 (after we have developed interstellar space flight), the biggest challenge is going to be sorting out all the names.

In the meantime, I have come up with a variation on this theme as a way to ease our own federal deficit: Sell off the naming rights to the planets:

• Mercury – Club Med
• Venus – 1-800-Flowers
• Mars (the red planet) – Coca Cola
• Earth – Planet Microsoft (Bill Gates is the only one who can still afford it)
• Jupiter – Wal-Mart
• Saturn (rings) - DeBeers
• Uranus – Preparation H
• Neptune – Evian
• Pluto – Disney
• Asteroid Belt – Starbucks – they are everywhere, but seem to be a bit frayed around the edges these days.