The Writing on the Wall

On the wall of my office hangs a large blackboard. Not a whiteboard, mind you. It uses real chalk (although the writing surface is actually green, not black). One of my colleagues makes fun of me because I may be the only person in Western business society who has not yet made the switch.

The board does have some history. My dad bought it when we started our company 25 years ago. He and I used to solve database challenges together on that board. And when my wife was a physics teacher and would need a quick lesson before instructing the students, she would stop at his office and he would diagram out problems and solutions for her.

But since I'm not all that into chalk dust, I was ultimately inclined to agree with my colleague that a change is in order.

So to get into the 21st century, I visited my favorite office products website. My existing chalk board is rather large, so the white board needs to be at least as large in order to avoid any wall repairs. The cost would be about $300.

On top of the initial purchase price, there is also the special eraser ($12), plus the markers($7). Finally add the sales tax (I'll pick it up in the store to save the $25 shipping charges), and the total is about $341.

What will my company and I get for its $341?

• A clean white board with no chalk dust.
• The ability to draw in vivid color.
• A good buzz for everyone in the room every time a marker is uncapped.
• The concern that someone will use a permanent marker by mistake.
• A ruined marker every time one of my children visits and forgets to put the cap back on after drawing pictures.

Of course, when the markers need to be replaced, the old ones are discarded rather than recycled. The plastic parts of the marker will still be sitting in a landfill until the next millenium and then some. Probably right next to what's left of the board that was replaced.

Chalk, on the other hand, is naturally occurring, and upon usage fulfills the biblical admonition in Genesis 2:7 - For you are dust. And to dust you shall return. I'm also fairly certain that dust leaves no carbon footprint.

So upon further reflection, I have decided that my green board is greener than the white board in more than just its color. And it has better memories.

Footnote: The folks at Google are pretty clever. When my post popped up for the first time, so did an advertisement - for a new whiteboard!

What Are the Odds?

Yesterday (December 9th) I was the featured speaker at the Edison Chamber of Commerce Holiday party. Apparently Larry the Cable Guy backed out at the last minute and Jay Leno was unavailable on short notice. So I was next in line.

I typically start my talks by asking how many of the people in the room have daughters. In a room of 60 people, I would expect 20-40 hands to go up. Instead I saw exactly three! At first I thought perhaps they were just unresponsive, but as I began to interact I realized that I was in a sea of people with all sons. What are the odds?

Wow, talk about a tough crowd. Oh well, when the Estrogen jokes don't work, I can always fall back on the my old reliable - making fun of Danish names. That goes over like a charm.

2009 Pumpkin Gallery

And 2008

And 2007

The World Series

So, the 2009 World Series is upon us. Yankees vs. Phillies. "The Turnpike Series", as pundits have taken to calling it. Frankly, I find the nickname ironic, since the Turnpike in question is in New Jersey, a state that is home to neither the Phillies nor the Yankees. It would be analagous to calling an NFL playoff game between the Buffalo Bills and the Cleveland Browns, "The Northwest Pennsylvania Grudge Match". Of course, the proper name for a playoff matchup between the Bills and the re-incarnated Browns would be "Not in Our Lifetime - What Are You Smoking?"

The real dilemma, however, is what should this longtime suffering Mets fan do? Root for the hated crosstown rivals? Root for the hated divisional rivals? Root for injuries?

My daughters, in spite of their allegiance to the Mets, think Derek Jeter is cute. And it's hard not to recognize Mariano Rivera's long term excellence. So it seems the lesser of two evils is the Yankees.

If I sound funny, it's because I am holding my nose.

Is this sign really necessary?

This photograph was taken at North Branch Park in Somerset County, NJ. One has to wonder: Is a person who is stupid enough to fire off a rocket during a horse show also likely to suffer from illiteracy?

Radio Interview

First live radio interview Tuesday, August 11

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WNJC 1360 AM Philadelphia - 7:00-7:30 pm with Joe Fermano: "How to Use Your Life". After the fact, go to http://www.joefermano.com to listen to the show.

Is that hailstone bigger than a bread basket?

Ever notice how hailstones are always communicated by their size in relation to other objects?

Apparently we are too stupid in the minds of the weather broadcasters to know what it means when someone says "half inch diameter hail". Instead, we are told that the hail is "grape sized".

Over the weekend, there were reports of "golf ball sized hail" in New Jersey. I wonder how many people know that a golf ball has a minimum size (1.68 inches), but there is no maximum size? I'll bet most people didn't even know that most golf balls are, in fact, 1.68 inches in diameter. So comparing hail to golf balls is really an indeterminate measure.

On the other hand, it would be fun to flip it around. Imagine at next year's British Open, over the sound of the wind whipping across the Scottish links, the announcer with the English accent whispers, "...and Tiger Woods just hit his hail-sized golf ball into the tall grass."